American Gangster (2007)

What we have today is a nice little piece of drug pie. American Gangster (2007) tells a story about a drug lord, his rise to power, his drop to dirt. It has a ring to it like some kind of a new god father, just black version. Probably that's were you might make a nice comparison. Here we have Denzel Washington and Russell Crowe , that even thou might not be my most loved actors, make this piece of art shine in it's own way. Feels not like gangster-cop-chasing-shooting-blowing thingy, but more refine, it has more class in it. But yes, not as classy as god father. This movie lets you get close to a drug lord, and i hope I'm right , lets you think he does things right and is a great man. It is hard to say what is wrong with the picture, maybe the bad part here is that it has no happy ending, even thou it is a real story, and you can't change that, you could have tried stopping at the good part, or just not telling the whole truth (it's not to you, I'm talking to the script writer) .
 All in all , let me just say that this movie is really good, worth the time, if you haven't seen it, go watch it, super fun. Not the new god father, has it's flaws , but still an A grade movie.

Machete (2010)

You could just call this "one hundred ways to kill" because,that's what's going on here.Machete (2010) was done by Robert Rodriguez and you think it will have great effects like Sin city or something like that. Am... no.... Even thou this movie is filled with stars like Robert De Niro , Steven Seagal, Michelle Rodriguez, someone (probably Rodriguez ) had an idea to save some money , by adding horrible effects. I really looks bad. brain splashes on the walls like tomatoes, blood is too computerized , and for gods of the great Valhalla , Rodriguez left logic in his other pants. Yeah, this will sound like a video game here, but that really happens : he gets shot, fights his way through so bad ass killers, doesn't eat for at least a day, then takes a nap and he's as healthy as a new born baby ( they are healthy , right ? ). Wow... now that's what I call an action movie, when you don't have to think, when stuff blows up, when there are blades as size as my bed.... yeah... nice. Actually, I'm just joking, i hoped for more and better, got less and disappointing. Just for some laughts and brainless action, sure why not, but when you want something interasting and smart.. no... I just watched it for Danny Trejo , because, he's one of those bad ass looking good guys, as , he will kill you , but he is good.

Masked and Anonymous (2003)

I don't know if any of you know this one but you should really see it, when you have the spare time.Masked and Anonymous (2003) is a simple story about a musician in some place were there is a rebellion (don't know the name of the place, if you know, tell me ) As of the story, it's simple and nothing special, some points you could say will happen, after seeing only few seconds of the movie, but what ever. Probably the most facinating thing here is the cast. I mean god slaying ponies, what a cast : Bob Dylan , Jeff Bridges (yes, the dude) John Goodman, Mickey Rourke , and for the probing robots of the space , the list just goes on and on. Oh god.. now that I think of it , that's probably the only thing good here thou. The movies great, but just because everyone is here. The story , as I mentioned already , is nothing special . If it's a comedy , it didn't make me laugh, if it's a drama , I didn't cry, if that's a mind fuck , my mind isn't blown. But hey, who cares, go see it.

The Book of Eli ( 2010)

This was a beautiful day, and I was wandering what should i watch , so I was caught by this one, The Book of Eli (2010). Fairly new work. So as i started viewing it my eyes popped out of my head, as the opening scene is as great as heaven (in post apocalypse).It makes you want nuclear was , just so you could say "mmm... nuclear winter looks so cool" . I mean really, the green forest , the black snow, the slow-motion the gear and everything was so heavenly great that , if the whole movie was like that i would have puked rainbows of joy and spit stars of happiness. Thou , you can't make a whole movie in slow-motion, so i wasn't shocked , when things took a different turn. But not for the worst. Actually they still kept a great balance in colors (not as great as the forest , but hey.) , a balance of sand , gray and metal graphics are perfect for this movie. Also, they kept a great fell of destruction in it, and that's good.
 Even when it looks great as a picture itself , there are some twitches in the script and characteristics. Again as there are Hollywood heroes, Eli is just one of them. How the hell does he slice those men so easily ? Why can't anyone shoot him from a bigger distance, when he goes Rembo on everyone with a pistol ( yeah , a short range weapon)  ? A little bit to much there. Actually , talking about the script, it looks somewhat like The Road (i did that recently ), but more of an action, than psychology . All thou it is a Hollywood cookie, all thou it ends too good ( not enough deaths if you ask me ) , all thou some parts are questionable, it is still a good time spender.

Look ! You know you love that green feel on this one .

9 (2009)

So i was thinking, since it's my 9th post , i will review a movie with the name of "Nine" (looks longer than just 9).
This little animation was produced by Tim Burton  , so for some reason it has this Burton feel in it. As it is an animation, it does not look too real, but the atmosphere is great, dark and strange. This is not some kind of deep, smart mind-fuck , this is just a simple movie, for the night, even thou it has some smart parts in it , like with Nr.1 (see it - get it) . One thing that really took me there was the simple sentimentalism. The ending, the deaths , basically every emotional thing there was , lets just say , childish. For kids ? Yes. Good enought for adults ? Yes. would i choose 9 over Bambi ? No... still good thou.

see what i mean about the feel ? Well the whole movie looks like this. Enjoy.

The Five Obstructions (2003)

Boys and girls, say hello to art. Just saw The Five Obstructions and it blew my mind of. This is one of those art movies, were there is a movie in a movie in a movie, just we have five movies in a movie here. I have to say , that it has nothing interesting in it if you know nothing about directors work, or anything about cinematography what so ever. The main part here (that makes my brain cells boil ) is the variations between strange stiles or obstacles while making the same film. The same Perfect Human (1967) transformed into five different ones. How the hell do you do that ? How the hell do you do it so well ? Personally i like the third one the most. The simple , not to much "art" in it, well done, greatly directed movie. Hey, the whole The Five Obstructions is a great , well planned movie. For those who are willing to see it- good luck, that's art.

Yeah, only one picture, just because the others don't look so good with this one.

127 Hours (2010)

How about we cut a break (you'll get it when you'll see it ) from world destruction, chaos , loads of guns and terrorists from Russia . What we have here is a true story about a mountain climber trapped in a canyon . 127 hours (don't worry, only takes one and a half on the film) shows the inside of a trapped man's mind. OK , now more from my point of view : The picture. As in there are a lot of beutifull sights , beutiful toughts , meaningful word and all of that. Can't say i love these kind of movies , but hey there is something to see here. For those who were thinking of watching this, go ahead, time fies by really fast , even when you think this thing is just in one place for almoust the whole time you might still go a little sentimental and atleast smile (like i did) when in the end he sees those hooks ( you'll get it...) . Thou if you're not in these "true story things" , don't bother your self with it, go see something classic or something of your own taste.
One more tip: when you're done, just take some time and watch through the credits, not only it will leave you in the movie mood for much longer, but you will also give your respect for the crew, you don't have to read them all, just sit it through.

waterworld (1995)

So you mentioned Waterworld , huh ? Yes , that's one of Kevin Costner's films, were he is a... strange.. thing...
So the good parts here are the whole water thing (yeah... good with words) . But really , the whole feel here really looks like there is nothing but water left. Can't say it has some of message in there , but who gives a damn, this just looks great. Waterworld is based on that feel and view thing, makes no-one smarter or anything, but makes you feel like you shat your pants with happiness and tears of joy (in the end, doah ) . Yeah, i might put my little finger up script's ass , as there are stuff like " lets bury  them, i think that's how they did it " seriously ? who thinks like that ? fortune tellers ? Yup .. but apart from those stupid holes in the cheese , it is still a great time spender.

 Hey thanks to ... some one, who mentioned waterworld i talked about it . Any more reconquest ? I'll be happy to do things you want to hear .

The postman (1997)

Just so you know, this is an easy movie for you. Its The Postman (1997). Why don't you crack open a budlight bag of popcorn and sit back. This is just a typical Kevin Costner's movie about America after some sort of apocalypse ( yeah i know, again ) . Seriously, this thing is patriotic as the flag itself. Fun parts are when you understand that they say in 2013 we will all fucking die. Little soon for my standards. The camera work is great, the story line is simple, but heart taking- tear dropping- flag rising... well you get it. the act is good, but could be better at some parts. Hey, this is classic, even thou it end like a shitty good guy movie, you still got to see it once in your life. If you have seen it , what do you think ?

Few pictures to help you remember.

The Road (2009)

Speaking of post apocalyptic movies , here's one for you - The Road (2009) . This time it is really Post apocalyptic , the nature, the buildings, the clothing . The key stone here is the story, all thou simple, but really heart taking . Not going to spoil the fun for you , but the random encounters of strangers shows this , lets just say, psychological  point of view on "lonely walks on the ashes " . Hey, lets not forget Viggo Mortensen ( from the Lord Of The Rings). His act here fits like a glove, also he looks like a man who does not eat, just like he should. Few more things : This is a strong movie, not to sit around with a girl and start spreading the germs in the middle of it,  if you know what I mean. It also looks long, even when it's just two hours long, so, better go for it when you really know you want your mind blown to little tear drops. Oh yeah, almost forgot : Shit looks real, man.

Children of Men (2006)

Children of men , now that something worth watching. They say it's " post apocalyptic " and I say that french fries are made in Italy. OK , but first the good parts about it :
No-cut style is just epic in this one.Actors take a huge clap from me on this one. The way the camera moves and there is no editing in between is just amazing. Probably that's why this movie is special , lets just say. The scrip is a killer, gaps are surprising , moment vary from funny to sad to scary in a second. The idea it self is a mind blower. Even the fact that it's not America that's having all the fun, but Britain is making my balls jiggle ( yet I'm not from England ). The only thing that set me of a little ( really just a little ) is that it is not so post apocalyptic. The cars are from 2006 , the people, the farms and everything else didn't give that 2027 feel. Apart from that Children of men is a great time s
pender for the night when you're thinking " gee.... i need something strange , yet fun for tonight " . If you haven't seen it, please don't waste time on some dull crap on TV and take this one on.
Yet again, pictures, so it looks like I say something smart :

Camouflage (2001)

So i just watched Camouflage (2001) with Leslie Nielsen (R.I.P.) and Lochlyn Munro.
Yes, i tough it's going to be as fun as naked gun, as fun as Mr.Magoo. But hell no. For the first time in a long time I really saw bad movie. Sereusly, the jokes are as good as a dog on the piano and the script is as interesting as watching hair on my ass grow- looks fun in the beginning, but dude.... So stupid. The ending was somewhat good, but it took my precious time of doing nothing. just as an advise - Don't watch this crap. I'll tell you what good movies you should watch. For now, why don't you just sit next to The naked gun and forget ever hearing about this crap. Here, look at a useless picture :

Looks good right ? No.

Heavy metal unicorn

Well, i think i should start this shit with something epic. Epic as heavy metal. Epic as Death Riders.Epic as robots.

Epic as robot unicorn attack heavy metal edition

It is here you know...

Robot unicorn attack is one of those really crazy awesome flash games on the net, and heavy metal makes me fell good down in my pants if you know what i mean. I'm not the man of big words, but this thing is one of those really great things that comes to a mans life. Enjoy it.