Wednesday, 23 November 2011

Dune (1984)

Skyrim. That explains why I haven't updated my blog for many days. But let's all be real on this, Skyrim is great, really. I mean, I haven't been so excited about a game since KOTOR, and that was years ago. Dude, this is a great game. But enough about that. Dune (1984) is an old Sci-Fi movie about a book with the same name, made somewhere around the time as Star Wars and costed 10 million more, but turned out less popular and... well... I really don't want to be hard on Dune, I mean , the book is great and all, but man oh man was this all messed up. And I would have never expected that from David Lynch. Yeah... just gets better and better from here.
To start with, thank the maker that there is an introduction to explain why and what is going on, because I surely think that those who did not read the book would not understand a single thing in the movie , at all. That is probably the good thing, i don't know.
I will have to leave the story alone, because fudge you, Dune is awesome. But to put the whole thing in only 3h ? To sides to that, both bad thou:, one is that everything happens to fast and there is no time to think or just chill, the other thing is that even while happening to fast , those 3h are not enough. Oh did it not have five (or four or six, I really don't know) parts like Star Wars ?
Time to put dirt on the whole Sci-Fi thing. I would love to say that it was not the time yet, but look at..well.. yes... Star Wars again, it is starting to look more about Star Wars than dune..Anyway. In 1984 the CGI was bumpy, but these were horrible even for that time. Where did all the money go to ? Those eyes ? did they spend all the money for actual surgery ?
With that in mind it all looks like some weird future voodoo. All those flying gingers and stuff... I mean, I am not racist but gingers are not born be THIS ugly. Maybe this is just the book inside my head talking, but I feel disappointed. And angry that i lost 3h not playing Skyrim. I heard they are make a new version in 2014, so until that day, lets all pretend that this one never came out. :)

Wednesday, 9 November 2011

Every Thing You Always Wanted To Know About Sex (1972) and every thing else by Woody Allen

Why ? Because of few things:
1. Poll says you want tits.
2. Everything else by Woody Allen is somewhat like this, actually this even sums up everything he has done.
3. Because I'm a pervert , that's why.

See, the thing is, I was thought that I could do more of Allen, but I have to face it, I'm not that good to not say that everything he does is more or less the same. Sex. 24/7 sex, every story has sex in it, all the time. So this will be my last of Woody.
This thing is made of few different stories, and some are better than others. For example first one can make you mad as hell, because everything there rhymes, and that is annoying, Jesus W. Christ , I nearly killed a child while watching that, but it ended, and that is good for that child (but i will find that child one day...) . That episode should have explained something about aphrodisiacs or something, but i think it was more about women out of your league.
Gene Wilder
Then the next one was on. And i loved that part, for that it has Gene Wilder in it. That is the man from Willy Wonka Chocolate Factory (1971). He is great at what he does, but why did he have to do this, I have no idea. What do you mean "whats the big deal?" ? He humped that sheep. Is it not at least a little weird ? Anyway ... It is awkward... Actually , the whole film is awkward, just like everything made by Woody Allen. People are awkward, situations are awkward, and Allen is awkward.
One part was in Spanish, probably , and because i don't know Spanish, I understood nothing, why would it even be Spanish, why ? What did I ever do to Spain to deserve this ?
"Every thing you always wanted to know about sex" should be informative, and you might say that it is more or less informative, but not only would it teach something usefull to youngsters, it would also fuck their minds up ( sorry for hard language but it is true). I mean, for those who have seen it, there is either real brain damage that will scare them form sex for the rest of their lives, o there is funny things to lough at perversions knowing you are more perverted. Yeah, "What is you perversion" was most fun to watch , for I have heard weirder perversions.
Talking about tits, this is one huge bust. And that is just what i mean, after seeing something like that , a normal man  could be scare of breasts for the end of his life. And what was most interesting for me was, if they make that breast, or was it effects ? Because if they really made it, I would love to hear the stories of making of .
Just to be clear on what i want to say, this is what sums everything about Woody Allen: "Tits that kill people."

Monday, 31 October 2011

Shadows and Fog (1992)

Hello again to everyone, just to be clear, i do not celebrate Halloween so there will be nothing about that, and for those who think I should do a horror movie, because there is such thing as Halloween, then please be my guest and get some taste in movies why don't you.
It is great to be not so great.
Shadows and Fog (1992) by Woody Allen is what's for today. A killer is loose in the town and everyone is scared as hell, especially Klainman, yes you guest it, Woody him self. The killer kills on foggy nights. ( Happy now, you capitalistic candy loving freaks , who dress up as hookers and batman, are you happy now ? You disgust me ) 
Story seams to be confusing (like your costume) but it starts to unravel in time. It is fun to see how three different plots come together and end up in.... well.. i have no clue why did it end the way it did. I really don't. this is not a spoiler, probably , it all ends in the circus, and that is really strange, because the whole movie has nothing to do with it (more or less) so why circus, and why in the hell do you think that you look good in green tights ? You have no super powers, stop acting like a kid with mental illness you creep.
So the story is great, but that is not the only thing that makes a great film, you need someone who can pull of an act (not like you.. oh you get it ). 
Great cast, just great. What else can i say, there is John Malkovich , what else do you want ? You want more, sure you do , you love candy, and here's some candy :Mia Farrow, that's some eye candy. What ? you wanted chocolate ? Go steal some from little girls on the street, oh way, you do that every year.God help me I hate you.
 Good, now that we are clear on that, lets talk about the most important part that makes a film a good film. Yup, Woody Allen. Lets not lie (like your friends lie to you that your costume is good), and lets admit that he makes the whole movie worth watching. He is that one awkward guy who goes around not knowing a thing, but as it turns out, he is not as retarded as everyone else thou, like you and.. ok i should let it go.

This is great, i suggest watching it with friends, if you have any, unlike me. 

Happy Halloween to All
you sick freaks of nature 

Thursday, 20 October 2011

Bananas (1971)

First of all, I am sorry for not writing for some time. I had a lot of work and didn't even have the time to scratch my ass. And that does not take too much time you know.But now I'm back, hopefully for some time. Another thing is , that one of my friends, who is an actual reviewer, viewed my scribbles and said that I use too much of personal opinion when reviewing.That made me wonder. Do you seriously take any of this nonsense seriously ? I mean i covered an entire paragraph about Nazis in my last "review", you can not take a guy who talks about Nazis seriously. Now , to make my point, Bananas (1971) by Woody Allen , is as ridiculous as I am.
It would be really hard to talk about anything made by Allen, because there is nothing new, everyone knows him and knows what his movies are about. So lets just pretend that you have never heard of a guy named Woody Allen.
So your common sense might be tingling and telling you that "this might be a comedy". Well, Einstein , guess what, you just one none million dolirs in a shape of geese.(See the joke is that Einstein is actually dead). But yes, this is a comedy, and as I see it, it is a stereotypical comedy for it's time. Jokes are often random, and the randomness makes them funny. Thou in the end , many jokes fail to make the same impact as you get used to them. Many serious matters are discussed in Bananas from an angle of absurdity. It is as if the whole world just does not see the stupidity of many acts. And not only serious things like politics or death are made fun of, the little things, the way we eat, the way people try to be fit, advertisements, everything is a laughing matter here.

This stupidity is made casual. That makes it more funny than people laughing from their own jokes, but that is very common it comedies of that time, so that is why I can't say that this is something remarkably great and unique. It is funny, to a certain point. It is good to watch. Even the plot makes sense more or less. But it is not a god of comedy. Now if, lets just say, i would remember that this is by Allen, then HOLLY MOTHER OF KAMOLLY , THIS IS DAS BEST COMEDY EVER, I SHAT MY CATS LITTER BOX OUT OF LAUGHTER. But let's be fair and not judge a movie by it's credits. Allen is good, but for some unknown reasons he is not my personal God and will never be. Sorry Allen fans.

Now when it comes to Allen... You have to have sex. The importance of sex is highly escalated in every movie by Woody Allen, this one is no different . Actually the main plot revolves about sex, but for to anyone who has seen any of his works that is nothing new.
Now to finish this all up, there is one thing that came to my mind while watching this. Bananas is like the internet in film form. Sex, randomness is there and there is nothing saint , that could not be made fun of.
Also, i could make a whole series of Woody Allen works, so don't forget to vote. Why ? Why not ?

Thursday, 22 September 2011

Schindler's List (1993)

There's something to help you remember why you were given a heart. To pump blood surely. Aside from that Schindler's List is a touching film. I mean I thought I was strong willed, I was watching  babies getting sliced everyday before breakfast and was ok with that, but this... It just hit some codes in my operating block and something like emotion broke through . But enough about me, lets talk about my opinion.
 It is soooo long. And maybe that is what made emotions possible, because when given more time, the director can make you fond of "good guys" and easily toy with the viewer like some twisted puppet master, making everyone dance to his little flute. That.... And music with everyones favorite true story card. It's like they think that if you do not write "true story" on every war movie, nobody will ever watch it. Or maybe it is me who cares about that and brings it up all the time, but still, I get it , war really happened , I believe you. And in the end it is not why I watch films about World War Two. It's because of the Nazis.
 Yup, you can't have WW2 without Nazis. I remember the good old times (that never happened) when Nazis were neither good nor bad. They were part of the war. I love that movie (witch was never made) about , how having to kill Jews is not the best part time job to be found. Sure, Jews really got it much worse, but not all Nazis were this bad, because all I see from every movie, is that Nazis ware all horrible blood thirsty sadists who love to kill the weak. Hm... Ok , so partially that is true, but my point is stereotypes suck goat balls.
Now , back to the List. There is one thing that I could name as sort of wrong. The color play, the red dress girl (picture above). I'm not saying that this was a bad idea, what I'm saying is there should have been a bit more of it. Maybe some other important details could have been colored , like the ring in the end , or somebodies blood or something. Would give it more sense . But that is just what I think. And nobody cares what I think anyway so.....  Best part is when the movie ends and titles go on road made of grave stones, that is probably the best way to show titles I have ever seen.

Friday, 16 September 2011

Platoon (1986)

Hello there sir, what are you eating there ? Some world history ? How would you like a cup of Vietnam war ? It's high in blood and tears, but that's good for your balls.
Is it just me, or is Vietnam starting to get silly ? I don't mean the war itself, that was horrible no doubt, but all that "everybody makes at least one movie 'bout it" kinda thing . Platoon is where it hit me, if you have seen one film that is based on Vietnam, you have more or less seen them all. All that changes is who dies, and... well , who dies. What you have is a jungle, lots of fireworks and blood to your knees. Same thing every time. Blood has no effect after seeing legs flying for hundreds of times, normal people get shocked and you just sit there with no facial expression saying: "i wonder where that arm flew of, could make a great souvenir ". That being said I wonder, do directors make these movies so that children would understand what is war and how cruel it is , or to rise their apathy level, so that they would not mind seeing their parents sliced in half by some maniac. I don't want to insult anyone, and specially not the veterans, but war is not getting horrible , it's getting boring.
Wow... talking like i'd have a heart. So aside from the fact that this war is what it is, Platoon does give (sort of) a twist in the whole "look at America freeing the shit out of them" plot. Oliver Stone does make American the good guys, but not all of them. There is still room left for jerks, rapists and messed up maniacs. And I think that is great. Let's face the fact that war is not all filled with happy-go-lucky beach boys that love every innocent child. That might be the best thing in this film.
That's how you look after taking drugs
What I understood from this film is that war is cruel, but there are some men involved that make it even worse. I guess That sums things up.
This film ? It's somewhat like every other , thou it build tension really well at some points, but that is nothing magical.Sound track is good and all.There is Johnny Depp there too, so girls can go wild now.I wanted to make a Charlie Sheen joke, but i don't think i should. Just to make things clear, movies is good, not too great. If you like this war for some reason, yeah sure it's awesome .
This trailer could be better... sheesh...

Tuesday, 13 September 2011

GoodFellas (1990)

You know what my blog is lacking ? Sugar , spices and mindless violence. Good thing there are these Fellas , see, they are Good at what they do. Oh God, I'm running out of ways how to introduce a movie.
So it seems that uncle Martin Scorsese used a true story, and why not, putting "based on a true story" makes it look more real, and we are all for sense of reality from time to time. While I'm at it , I will say some things that are good:
From my point, the camera movement was great , something spectacular. The way it went through people , how they went by each other is something so delicate, but also so powerful, like godzilla-butterfly . I wanted to call it "tunneling" and it got me good at few points.
The cast. It is mind-blowing. Robert De Niro , Joe Pesci, Ray Liotta and even Samuel L. Jackson made his print here. What else can you ask for? Why would you ask for something else ? Are you unhappy ? Why does everything make you unhappy ?
Everything else that fallows , good or bad, is about the story. Can't complain , it's not bad, it has narration that makes it more clear and easier to understand, but it could be better. Yeah , sure it is based on true story, but nobody would know if you would change some minor details. Can't say what and where , because that would ruin the fun for those who didn't see it yet. Lets just leave it at "it could have been a better story".
You know, though all my years of movie watching I have noticed few things about gangster movies.
Crime obviously does not pay. As you can see it everywhere and all the time, crime does not pay, and personally I would love to see at least once where crime gives you happiness and you don't get raped by police or your friends at the end.
Jedi are so overpowered and .... wait... that's not it....
Main problems for gangsters to go down from top is drugs and/or women.If you ever get a chance to be a gangster , please don't do/sell drugs and don't get married or obsess with one girl.
You know what. It is still a great movie for those who did not see it. best part about it, that makes it so special and unique against other is that it shows mafia and gangsters from a simple point of view. No dirt nor gold there. They are what they are, and they like it, that is all.

Wednesday, 7 September 2011

Memento (2000)

So i had some free time and took a look at this mashed potato. And i use the term "mashed" for many reasons here. As of for starters you might notice that it is all made out of small steps, not like children of men, witch had many non-stop shots. Those little steps start and end whenever they want , like a woman. And that makes it hard to understand, again, just like a woman. I'm not making fun, that is just what it looks like, i hope that Christopher Nolan won't get mad at me for this. That is not all. Imagine your woman to get mad at you for no reason and then talking backwards. That what's going on in Memento as well. Those short pieces don't go backwards , but the time line itself goes from the last thing that happened to the first. And now that i lost you, time for some more nice things about this creature of brain-damaging twister.
As this is a thriller, and no lies there for sure, you might think that you know more than Leonard (main character) knows. And that is not too hard , as Leonard has brain damage (really) and is stupid as a goldfish hit by a truck (not really). But later on you get that feeling , that you know you are just getting kicked in the balls and made fun of, and that you know nothing you brain dead mothe---. And a good point is that you can't predict what is going to happen, because the twists are so cleverly put in place, that it's a good thing you manage to put everything in their belonging places when everything is over. Witch is something you should not expect at all. That is a good thing in my book, but i do not have  a book so meh...
Blowing. I think about blowing when i think about Memento now, because my mind has been blown , at least a bit. And that is enough blowing for one simple thriller. Can't really explain why, but i leaves a really good feeling of getting mind blown and figuring out everything in the end. It also has one more thing that i really like, but might not be so interesting for you. There were parts of dialog that referred to the way the movie was directed. It gave reasons why this backward this was made and all other things i can't explain. It really is a great movie, if you have not seen it, i do suggest seeing it, and if you did see it, did you like it ?

Sunday, 4 September 2011

Twelve Monkeys (1995)

For the first of the reviews I went for Twelve Monkeys, because it has crazy people in it, and I'm sort of nuts myself, also it has a parts with post-apocalypse, that I enjoy in a story.
First things first. Look at the picture to the left and smile , while you see more or less steam-punk atmosphere. For those who have not seen it, I will have to let you down here by telling you the horrible truth : this great sight is only when talking about the future, and that is not too much thou. That really made me sad , because it would have looked really cool, but it did not, most of the time it's simple 90's. That is not the only thing that made my mashed potatoes cold, there are holes in the plot that could have been filled with something ball crushingly exiting,
but were just tapped with "it sucks , but you did not expect that." Sure , it was a surprise at some points, but it did not make me go "wow, where did my nose go? "( Not making fun of you-know-who). Also there is something like a riddle down in there , but it is not as mindblowing as it was in Blade Runner. But because the movie uses time traveling, they took a nice opportunity to go a full circle , but if you are not as dumb as my friend brick is, you would know that this is going to happen. 
I don't know if i get the moral correct here. Is it that " if you try to fix stuff , don't travel back in time, because that will bring more trouble and in the end a near destruction of humans" or " No matter how hard you try to change things, you will only get shot several times and in the end change nothing , for history can not be changed, or you are mental in the first place" ? Don't get me wrong, I did liked it , but it did not blow parts of my body (brain you pervert) like i thought it would. In the end I will have to leave with a statement that is was a good try, but Blade Runner messed my mind more that you.

Tuesday, 30 August 2011

The Dawn of A New Season

Irrelevant image 
The end of summer is upon us. With this end comes the end of freedom, fun, sloth and germans. But this sad day will bring more work for me and more posts for you to read. So to put it short: I'm starting a new season for my blog just like a new season for tv and stuff like that. Hopefully my posts will be more frequent , like one or two a weak. There are going to me more new movies, some that you should have heard (so that I would not look like some sort of a hipster ). But you know, it all depends, if I get enough motivation from followers and comments, there could be more posts and more of things you like to read about, just don't be shy to say what you want.So just to let you know.....

look at this happy little f*ck
Here's a short list of movies that will appear on this blog :
M (1931)
Solaris (1972)
The Mirror (1975)
Stalker (1979)
Heavens Gate (1980)
A Nightmare on Elms street (1984)
What is this doing here ?
Platoon (1986)
Silence of the Lambs (1991)
The Last of the Mohicans (1992)
Schindler's List (1993)
Twelve Monkeys (1995)
Last Man Standing (1996)
Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas (1998)
Memento (2000)
City of God (2002)
Equilibrium (2002)
Sum of all Fears (2002)
Constantine (2005)
Pan's Labyrinth (2006)
Atonement (2007)
Elite Squad (2007)
The Wrestler (2008)
Black Swan (2011)

Surely there are many more to come, but I'm to lazy to name them all (pokemon) . This list does not state the order of  posts or flavor of my soup. If you see something that you would love to read form the list, just say so, if you don't see the name of your favorite movie, just tell me,if you have a cow, just make some soup, everything is simple with OldSpice.
So wish me luck on to the new era of this blog (wow... i really know how to make things sound important

Thursday, 7 July 2011

Orgazmo (1997)

 you're probably asking "why in the name of all that is orange juice did you, Jazz, chose this stupid this for a review when there are so many good movies to review? " Well that is a good question there my friend.

Wow.... so much of wasted space up there.... Anywho... To answer your question: it was my friend. He told me to do some comedy, i said "Ok how about the circus (1928) ?" no, he said , you need something great like this . Something i found in my left testicle.
 So i listened to the little guy, pat him on the back , with a "Nice story Mark" and hoped for the best.
All i have to say, is that it was funny in some points, but not a great comedy. Sure it had that fun randomness witch is great, but it was stupid as back of my hand. actually , that is why i hate reviewing comedies, the are either funny or not, that is all. And this one... well... the trailer is funnier that the whole movie in general. 

ps. to my bud: nice........ note to never do it again.

Friday, 1 July 2011

Donnie Darko (2001)

Lets just say I love watching movies with my dad, because he know's some good ones. I like brain fuckers twisters myself , so it looked like a great idea to watch a movie that is about a man that is crazy, but may not be crazy, but sort off is crazy , but sees a bunny , that tells him to do things , like all the other kids I know.
Donnie is , lets just put it , special little boy. Because calling him a butt-crazy-arsonist-killer-whanker would be more or less rude. Jake Gyllenhaal made this nut-job look really realistic and believable, unlike some other actors in the movie, who were just plain "no" to me. On the course of the movie there were nice lines said , some that could be philosophical or just smart-ass to say near your friends so that you would look deep. Even that one that you're seeing on the poster on the left "why are you wearing that stupid man suit? " that would make you think for ever and all that. If anyone says that to you just say " sorry, not everyone like my God of Thunder looks" and punch then in the face for trying to act deep. On the good side , there are some nice ironic jokes about education and educational movies, and thank Sean Connery that they are not so obvious.
  Donnie Darko (2001) does have that brain turning thing, but not only that. Also it has them moments when that is just a fun family show , some romance , some jokes, some sadness and all that. Gives it more that just brain bashing would give.
I don't think I have much more to say, more or less it is good. Has something that you might not enjoy, but mostly is some good watchin' and that is all.
The ending is still not so clear to me, yet I enjoy the fact that every little crappy line was not forgoten and in the end everything comes togerther and something something, still not so sure what happens, still don't understand if he was sane or so crazy that he traveled time, but maybe I just need a good night sleep till I figure it all out.

Wednesday, 29 June 2011

Once Upon a Time in the West (1968)

So somebody said that I post not enough posts, well, that's because I'm a lazy lion. Get it ? Good.
Now, for those who are still waiting for a review: I don't really say that very often, but when I do , I mean it, and this is probably the best. Best western, I have ever seen.

 C'era una volta il West (1968) has everything needed for a good western. Characters are like they should be: there's a good guy, who is misterious and a good shot, there's a bad guy, who's laughing at the face of danger and can't be gunned down by anyone, and there's a bad guy, who does good and he's sort of a good-bad guy that you love to hate. Glad to make that clear. Just as a side note , that is really similar to The Good The Bad and The Ugly, just here we have more emotional deaths, sometimes you really don't want some guys to die. It really plays on you, even thou some bad guys are as evil as Jehovah's witnesses , you still go "baw" when they kick the bucket. One more thing for the characters is that every one says something meaningful and fairly smart. And I really enjoy when there is also something to learn from movies, not just waste time on pretty pictures. And oh my, these pictures are pretty indeed sir. The way the camera goes, all the angles that it shows and all the dirtiness that makes things realistic, all sum up in a breath taking and putting it back to you form the wrong end movie.
 This ladies and not so ladies, is Charles Bronson , know as Harmonica in the movie. Why ? Well Watson, that's because he plays his harmonica. And that is some songs of death that he plays, because when he plays them, you stop breathing and start waiting for something to happen. That music he plays builds so much tension that your mind gets blown apart , put in a bag, sent to mars and reassembled there . And Charles handles his harmonica very well indeed. He's here to fock everything up, just because he needs to set some old scores. So if you're thinking of choosing your next hero in show and tell back in class, the you better choose this bad-ass good guy.

 Damn... there is still so much that I would like to say but might not find the right words for this masterpiece of westerns. You really have to see this for your self, for I can't explain how epic everything goes, how amazing bad guys walk down the desert , how stunning does it feel to see every twist in the story that takes you in and doesn't let go. I don't even have the right words to state the good old mano-a-mano that takes place, and puts the finishing strokes on the roll of little paintings that all together are calleC'era una volta il West , the Italian comeback for every western in America.

This post looks alot better thanks to Steve from College Downtime and I would be glad that if you liked what you red here you would visit him as well.

Sunday, 19 June 2011

Silk 2007

I know what your thinking now. " What did is this new movie doing here ?" and i can simply answer that : that because i had to see a movie with my mom, and that's what she picked and i could do nothing about it, but i just thought, that if i'm watching this anyway, then why not write about it .
    first thing you might notice is the off screen voincing, wich i like so muchi had to mention here, nothing facy about it thou. pitty if you ask me. Puting a voice behind the actual picture is one of few weapons that a director can use to occupy the hearts of his viewers, and in silk it was use just so that it would be used.
The picture it self is buitiflue, all the japanese locations, all macro shots on those bug thingies, truly stunning. Also, breath taking. literally, i slowed down my breathing just so i could hear everything that is going on. Thou from the visual point, there was a lack of mace-up used. The point that after 10 or more years they look the same helps me not to believe it as reality and accept it just as a movie and nothing more.
Dont want to be rude and all, dont want to say that this movie is bad or anything, but, i might just be me, i seems that this movie is slow , draggy, and not worth the time seeing it, i do recommend reading it. AS in the book, not as in binary code or something.

Wednesday, 15 June 2011

Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory (1971)

Yeah, the old one. Just thought I should see the original to know who's better.
And here the part where I compare those two fudge-cakes :
Before the movie, the biggest question for me was "what did they change in Tim Burtons version of this" and sadly I can't point out many things. Almost every twist there was, almost every trap and surprise was the same. All thou they did change ducks into squirrels, but the plot was more or less point to point the same, and that is not really fun. If you're doing a remake, then please at least change the major twist, so then every one would go "holly fresh potatoes, i thought there will be a different ending, you got me entertained sir." Now all those who saw any version could save time and not see the other.
 Tim did make it his own way thou, really "Burtish" if you ask me, and that's somewhat what the original was missing. Creepy-weird-what style. And that's where Johnny Depp fits in very well. Making a great view, but the music was better in the original. See ? You win some , you lose some. The original has better ring to it, those songs were heard , and that shakes something deep inside you, making music more , you know... Close to you that the new one.
Sadly I'll have to say that if you saw one, you don't have to see the other, just a waste of time, so this time a remake is not better, nor worse, it's just made anew .

Thursday, 9 June 2011

The Big Sleep (1946)

So I'm back on my track for old hits to hit you up. This here The Big Sleep (1946)  was recommended to me by my friend and I thing I own him a bucket of skittles for this one. A great detective here for all who like those.
 As it starts as some simple case of blackmailing it flips to murder, murder and even more murder. Fun, I know. First thing you might notice is the detective, the way he talks , the way he knows so much ( as it turns out not enough thou) and as he hits on the ladies. Humphrey Bogart did a great job on this one. Made one smart guy that talks non-stop and always knows whats going on, one step more that the rest of the world. To me, that looks like a real detective should act. Just for his character this movie is worth your time. And if that does not buy you in , hows about some helpful tips on getting girls ? Because , the way he does it is just amazing , I mean really, he even got the cab drivers (girl) number for no reason. And he got a lot of attention from every girl, and every single girl in there, the cab driver, the book store keeper, and every other , are smoking hot. Just a little less hot then the center of the sun.
 Also , this movie has some resemblance to other I have seen. Like Chinatown (1974) . Just when you think the case is closed, they spin everything around and make everything even worse that it began. What started as a blackmailing ended with five or six men dead. And happens so fast, it was hard to get with everything, all the names, all the thing they do, what is going on ? I was all like this cat here. Confus.
One way or the other, no matter how confused I got, I still enjoyed it till the end. This is one great detective, good for it's age, you don't have to be a crazy World War II hero to enjoy it, kick back, let them penetrate your mind.

Saturday, 28 May 2011

Legend (1985)

So I'm making a sort of a jump to the future, because I need something more fresh and easy to watch.
What I got is Ridley Scott's fairy tale about princesses, fairies and goblins. Yeah... I know how it sounds, but no, there are no dragons with light sabers fighting in another dimension involved. And just to tell the truth , Legend has every thing needed for a fairy tale, creatures, locations,the lighting, magic items and magic itself. Just for the magic, that's kinda funny what they did in 1985, it looks sorta good, but so cheap by todays standards, and not enough of fireballs and cthulhu.
 What some of you might notice, is that this looks like Zelda. I haven't played it myself, but surely everyone knows that dude with the little light thingy by his side. Same thing right here, Tom Cruise dressed in green with long hair, jumping up and down and I'm all like "is this a tribute to Zelda, or is this the other way around ?" Just in case you're wondering, the funny fact is that Zelda was first released in 1986. Thats right , precisely 26 years before 2012, coincidence ? You tell me.
 Also, I thing that Legend (of Zelda ?) should have been made longer that this, because there is so much to say in just 94 minutes that everything just happens so fast. Stuff happens non-stop, not even a second to build tension or just to chill the quest down. Because of that you might be wondering what the "forest" is going on and just end up with messed up inside.
 OK, there's one for those who saw this: witch would you chose - princess or the fairy ?
hot fairy
acceptable princess
and hell for all... can't find good quality pictures of this movie... god really hates me.